I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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