This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
