Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize