Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
