Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
