guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I touched a dick in church today
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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