Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
