Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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