I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
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