last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
