So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
