ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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