It's like God shit irony all over that family
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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