yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
