He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
