Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
