to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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