I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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