I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
