sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
