They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
