She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
