I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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