Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
