You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
