My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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