I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
hell yes lets make some ravioli
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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