Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Can I color on your dick again?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
