I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He has the fingertips of a God
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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