Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
