i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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