YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize