I'm really into asian looking animals
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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