R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
