where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize