I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize