I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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