Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
