marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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