This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize