im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
