What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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