thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
