Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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