I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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