did you get engaged???
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
