why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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