do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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