You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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