Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
