Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
