So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
