Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
