The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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