so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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