No stitches, just platelets and will power
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize