Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
