don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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