Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
