it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize